Love and nothing like it

If you take the period of evolution as a base line, one might say that I hadn known her for very long. Somehow, time never seems to be a factor of relevance in these matters ( you can choose to believe otherwise). Keeping this in mind, I could definitely say with a certain degree of certainity that she was upset. (to put things mildly)

How did it happen? Where did it happen? For many, the question of greater relevance at this point might be, "When did it all begin?". Honestly speaking, I dont have a definitive answer to all these. Many a time, I have sat back and tried to isolate a single point in the brief time line of my existence. I didnt know what I was looking for. Was it a single solitary event? Did it develop over the course of time? None of these questions seemed relevant at this point of time. For now, all that mattered was that things werent alright (Atleast, it was not the perfect life I ~ and as i understand many of you ~ expect it to be)

Honestly, I really dont understand why she is behaving this way. Maybe it was the way I had treated her? Atleast that is what 'The Inner Voice' says. (I dont know about u guys, but, I have never really been a fan of this voice. It often says the silliest of things. Ones that, more often than not, SEEM to want to get you into *trouble*).

The voice seems to be saying something rite now. Am not sure I want to decipher it. It seems to go along the lines of "You know perfectly when all this started. It was the money. Things werent always this way. The JOB. Is that all that matters to you? And the money? Is this new cash inflow your excuse for treating her this way?"

Very few people, know about the relation she and I share (and mayb i intend on keeping it that way). These people knew that she had changed me in a way none other could. Existence without her seemed impossible, more importantly, irrelevant. If only one could go back in time and set things right. Hmmmph!!! If only things were that easy. What was the big guy up there trying to teach us anyway? Why couldnt there be a single clause (a tear) in the fabric of time that said, "You know what. If its that important to you... go ahead... Bend time... But only this once".

You know what. I can identify a billion people who have probably isolated this one instance in time. Many, that would give their life for this - "once"

In the absence of this clause (or till someone proves that darn Einstein's* theory wrong), I guess I have only one choice. Pray. Pray that time would heal all.

*Apparently, he spend a gazillion days proving that, as a mathematical certainity, TIME TRAVEL WAS IMPOSSIBLE

I want to tell her that I am sorry for the pain that I' ve caused. Unlike most others, ego has never been a big issue with me (hmmph...who am I kidding?) Anyway, this was one instance that I was willing to let it all go. All the ego in the world din matter (as Pete would put it) a horse's ass. If only I could tell her that, in the end, it had and is still hurting me a lot more than it had her. I knew that it was true. No man would probably have born this kind of pain, which is when I decieded, no more eating Thai food from the Forum. Allah. This shud be a once in a lifetime event for the really daring at heart. I re-iterate ONCE in a life time. ( I believe the horror of this event was once telecast on axn max x) Grotesque, it was, to say the least. It was not just me. Some of room mates had also part taken in this horror. All of them, had their stomach upset. I guess, the stomach didnt mean as much to them as it did to me.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Whoa... Dont run away folks. That's what she sounds like when she is upset. (She's been making a lot of funny noises lately) Not a Britney Spears. I know. But, i guess they never are when they are that....hmmm... how do you put it? Out of sync?? I guess, I had nothing better to do with the money frm the job than spend it on experimenting with my stomach. At this point of time, you are all probably wondering, "#$@%!#$%!@#$%!@#$%", I have been told that under 13 kids have been reading this blog lately. Hence the discretion. I empathize with you. Even I want to kill myself. Wat other sorry SOB wud be in the office on MayDay tryin to meet the whims of his senior office colleague? "I dont like this variable name )it seems). Change the whole program, you have been writing for months and make it work with this change (dat cud basically affect entire code flow), cause the name i suggested sounds prettier." aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And u wonder why software engineers get paid so much. Oh!!! And in case, you have been wondering about the topic of the post (check this out)

A friggin funny thing this love is isnt it. At its surface (just a singular emotion). Under the pretty hide, a plethora of complicated emotions, more vicious than they stand good for. Why we get our hands dirty with it? None of us know. Yet, for all I know, all run after it (till they learn their lesson). Guess, we will never know till we get there will we. Na... dats just a lie. Its all around you. Dont look to hard for it (or you just might miss, what is there rite in front of you). :)