Thats what I had decieded I would name this post. Mind numbing is not what would aptly describe as the rationale behind it. There comes a time in everyone's life where he would willingly throw of his thinking cap. For the author of this post, it comes at a time that he did be easily willing to shell out of couple of 100 bucks for any mode/form of engagement whose simplicity in nature and subtle yet profound levels of deception would help him in his guile(and arguably - not vile intent).
80% of Bangalore's population would have guessed by now that I am sitting in a training room, with limited Internet access trying hard to hold my head up - yet sporting a convincing enough look to both my manager (sitting a couple of seats away from me) and the resident tutor that I am indeed doing justice to the lakhs of rupees the company is throwing away to "train" us. 70% of this 80% would also have guessed by now that I am using "unfair" means to prevent these tormentors from refraining me from my birth right -
GMail, orkut and blogger.
Its been 5 minutes since I typed my last line and that can be attributed to Mr. Trainer here, walking up and down, and stopping for what one might say is easily a disturbingly long period of time at my desk more often than one would comfortably
categorize as "occassional". I might add that this does really not come as surprising given that I am unable to wipe of my face a smile, coming from the combined effect of reading my friends blog and the sounds of "click-click-clicks" and "shit-s@#$%-s@#$-f!@#-arghhhh"'s coming from the neighbouring computers. Poor chaps... Apparently Minsweeper is the only form of revolt they could resort to.
As I continue to browse across various websites I come across, IBN-LIVE.com (Supposedly, India's highest rated online news channel). Today's headlines read: "Pack of laughing hyenas commit suicide after succumbing to depression: World wide campaign to study causes for mass suicide attempts from sections of both human as well as animal society. Eye-witness report: Many of these unfortunate souls who
have either gone into depression or have attempted suicide were last seen browsing the following site: http://yetanotherachievement.blogspot.com
My heart felt condolonces for all to the families of all this unfortunate group who apparently braved to venture through more than two paragraphs on the above link. The United Nations has declared this as the biggest emergency to hit the World since the retirement of bombshell actress Carmen Electra. President Musharraf and his sincere followers were so grieved by the incident that they decieded to declare a year long 'Period of Emergency' in the country. It is yet to be determined which of the two incidents grieved them more, but as a matter of certainity they have succumbed to the combined pressure of the two incidents. Let us observe a two minute silence for these poor crushed souls.
Ting ting ting ting.. the bell rings... I see less than 5 minutes for the end of today's class and am hence decieding to wrap this up.. Show over folks... Take care... Oh and yeah!!! If anyone hasnt guessed why this post has been titled "Meow meow", its for the simple reason that I am still recovering from the horror that last weeks CAT(Common Admission Test) was.. I would love to tell you more about it, but, then that would require a whole new post ... Wouldnt it Miss. Shaila Srivasthava?? ;)
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Out of ideas!!!
If resolutions were gals, I would have had an irrefutable image as 'the PLAYBOY' of modern times. Since the dawn of time I have been flirting with 'rEsOlutionS'. My best night out on recent times would have been this New Year's Eve. A mammoth 5 resolutions. That (I did like to imagine) is more than Hugh Heffner could hope for on a single night. Unfortunately, while short-term flings/relationships are widely myhted to be every guys euphoria, somehow this doesnt exactly fit the picture.
So, in an attempt to be more consistent, i have taken, yetAnotherResolution - to counter this anti-resolutionist flirt within me. Yes, for all those who saw the irony, this would indeed mean long term committed relationship's with each of my resolutions, but, ah well - it was time for a change anyway.
Summed up, this is exactly why I am updating this blog, at this very instant of time, though I am as short of clues as the skirts dawned by Nisha Kothari, on what I am going to be penning down here. Out of the back of my head, all I can think of is:
a) Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!! Finally, 1000 kms on my bike means I finally get to take it above the - oh so slow n torturous - 50 km/hr. (The manual said something about proper mating of engine parts require me to keep speed below 50 km/hr for the first 1000kms). And the natural thought process was, well, since I havent had much luck in the mating department for GOD knows how long, atleast let my bike enjoy the pleasure.
b) Its been over a week since I wrote point number (a). So doesnt look like I ll be making any drastic life moulding changes anytime soon
c) Ah yes!!! There has been the break-up. Not the best of phases in one's lives to be in. But I guess, in modern times tis has become pretty much standard protocol.
Its funny what effects different situations in life can have on different ppl. Some people go into depression. Takin crazy decisions like ... dats it... no more gals/guys in my life. Wont ever get married.
Some, well, its routine for some. Ah!!! Dat jus means getting to sample yetAnotherGuy/gal. Bringin bk the initial euphoria of a romance just blossoming.
For me, well, like every other human being out there I like imagining that I am unique. That kind of explains to me why I am continously jumping from crest-to-trough-to-crest of some erratic sine wave, where sittin atop the crest has a loud speaker blurt into me ears.. "Yes, it was inevitable... Don tell me u din kno as u started of" and sitting down in the trough goes somethin like... "21st century man... When will things stop queing up into this inevitability wala lane??"
Break ups do teach you a lot of things I must admit. (I am not an expert in this field, so feel free to correct me if one feels these are not generalizations)
a) It reveals to you a side of you, you never knew existed. Window-2/4 of the JoHari window I believe. As you analyse the thoughts in your head, you hear a lot of "WHAT". Dat doesnt sound like the me I know.
b) You learn that gals are much better at advice than guys. Rarely, I think one will find responses such as :
- you know, a friend of a friend knows a call-girl
- get another gal, nowadays u can easily get laid
- hmmmmm... Dat reminds me...who do you think will win the coming Indo-Pak test series.
can be clubbed into remotely the same category as endearing/ empathizin/ useful. Yes, feel free to use the above comments in any court of law to de-justify the usage, "He meant well and that's wat counts".
c) Does breaking up due to circumstances mean that one cannot stay good friends? Especially if one know's that they have spent some pretty good times together.
I cud go with a (d), an (e), definitely an (f) and probably put in a (g) or (h), but the thought of the sound of "thuds" on the table from people concurrently falling asleep in different corners of the world raising yetAnotherTsunami, is somewhat concerning. After all... why break apart some lovely couples i know who are having a great time togehter. After all Que-Serai-Serai.
P.S.: Yes, I have been very very vague. You were not meant to understand wat was just written... :)
So, in an attempt to be more consistent, i have taken, yetAnotherResolution - to counter this anti-resolutionist flirt within me. Yes, for all those who saw the irony, this would indeed mean long term committed relationship's with each of my resolutions, but, ah well - it was time for a change anyway.
Summed up, this is exactly why I am updating this blog, at this very instant of time, though I am as short of clues as the skirts dawned by Nisha Kothari, on what I am going to be penning down here. Out of the back of my head, all I can think of is:
a) Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!! Finally, 1000 kms on my bike means I finally get to take it above the - oh so slow n torturous - 50 km/hr. (The manual said something about proper mating of engine parts require me to keep speed below 50 km/hr for the first 1000kms). And the natural thought process was, well, since I havent had much luck in the mating department for GOD knows how long, atleast let my bike enjoy the pleasure.
b) Its been over a week since I wrote point number (a). So doesnt look like I ll be making any drastic life moulding changes anytime soon
c) Ah yes!!! There has been the break-up. Not the best of phases in one's lives to be in. But I guess, in modern times tis has become pretty much standard protocol.
Its funny what effects different situations in life can have on different ppl. Some people go into depression. Takin crazy decisions like ... dats it... no more gals/guys in my life. Wont ever get married.
Some, well, its routine for some. Ah!!! Dat jus means getting to sample yetAnotherGuy/gal. Bringin bk the initial euphoria of a romance just blossoming.
For me, well, like every other human being out there I like imagining that I am unique. That kind of explains to me why I am continously jumping from crest-to-trough-to-crest of some erratic sine wave, where sittin atop the crest has a loud speaker blurt into me ears.. "Yes, it was inevitable... Don tell me u din kno as u started of" and sitting down in the trough goes somethin like... "21st century man... When will things stop queing up into this inevitability wala lane??"
Break ups do teach you a lot of things I must admit. (I am not an expert in this field, so feel free to correct me if one feels these are not generalizations)
a) It reveals to you a side of you, you never knew existed. Window-2/4 of the JoHari window I believe. As you analyse the thoughts in your head, you hear a lot of "WHAT". Dat doesnt sound like the me I know.
b) You learn that gals are much better at advice than guys. Rarely, I think one will find responses such as :
- you know, a friend of a friend knows a call-girl
- get another gal, nowadays u can easily get laid
- hmmmmm... Dat reminds me...who do you think will win the coming Indo-Pak test series.
can be clubbed into remotely the same category as endearing/ empathizin/ useful. Yes, feel free to use the above comments in any court of law to de-justify the usage, "He meant well and that's wat counts".
c) Does breaking up due to circumstances mean that one cannot stay good friends? Especially if one know's that they have spent some pretty good times together.
I cud go with a (d), an (e), definitely an (f) and probably put in a (g) or (h), but the thought of the sound of "thuds" on the table from people concurrently falling asleep in different corners of the world raising yetAnotherTsunami, is somewhat concerning. After all... why break apart some lovely couples i know who are having a great time togehter. After all Que-Serai-Serai.
P.S.: Yes, I have been very very vague. You were not meant to understand wat was just written... :)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Postman - no more!!!
Posting on this page has taken the longest of times. Those who know me well, would say, well... this was very much expected... After all, he does have to hold on to the name of "Born Procrastinator"... I wish these people were right in saying that I am being nothing but plain lazy, however, recent times have been nothing but short of organized - hectic - turmoil.
Over the course of the last month, I have learned a lot of lessons, that most people would perhaps not prefer to learn the HARD way... I have met strange people, whose character sketches, probably the most trained minds in Holly/Tolly/Bolly ~ wood may not have conceived so far and seen sides of acquaintances, that seemed far distant from what one might have imagined of them.... Then again, the world is never short of surprises is it... Just as you think you have settled into the lane where everything just cruises by, life is ready to slap you with yetAnotherSurprise just across the bend.
I have to admit, some of these lessons would come as fairly obvious to the large majority of the un-insane that I keep in touch with.... For example, that the best way to learn the local language is to get into a restaurant, eat for a thousand bucks and tip 1 Rupee, or if you are a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fanatic, then the episode you choose to introduce your folks at home to the world of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. not be the one where Chandler says, "You know when you are at home with a girl and you are doing it, sometimes , images flash by in your mind... like the photocopy girl or even your mum... and you cant stop what you are doing and you just have to keep going and its like you are doing your own mum..."... Needless to say, mum took off the next instant, leaving her "little boy" feeling as weird as the extremeties to which the word can be stretched. Its ironic that probably the only two people who were involved in the enactment of the above scene are the two who will for all instances in time, till Judgement Day, fail to detect any trace of humor in what happened there.
However, there are lessons that do not come as fairly obvious to the normal human mind. Like, just coz you have had clear skies for the last 2 months doesnt mean that you can leave your bike in the company parking on a 3 day trip to your native place. Always be prepared for the worst. Simply put, you take the variables:
a) Clear skies for last 3 months
b) Lots of security at your office
c) Basement parking away from heat of sun and possible winds
Use the function WCS*(variable1, variable2,....) on these.
WCS => Worst Case Scenario
Using these three you get WCS(a, b, c) = 3 x (Heavy Rains the day after you leave) + 2 x (Extensive flooding in the basement) + (Repairs worth atleast 4000) + (Bike that now looks like a cross somwhere between an Nigerian Zebra and a Jamaican spotted cheetah)
Now this bike is special to me for reasons 1,2,3,4...99,100....1001. Perhaps, reason number 1 being the strongest that its the first major purchase of my life from apun ka pocket, from only my second job. I thoroughly enjoy my second job, which is ironic considering that I enjoyed job number 1 a lot as well. The income was not regular, but, job satisfaction was tremendous.
Now the job profile of postman may not seem to match the criteria mentioned above. But what if it were a postman, who had to only deliver mails composed by one of the most special people in his life. Now what if we removed from it the mundanity of only delivering mails, and made it dynamic, say ~ get few groceries, run minor basic errands pertaining to common household and ofcourse have the prestige of being pharmaceutical representative. How could this be even more special? Well, how about if you add to it salary and its associated perks. A special lunch/dinner every now and then. Blessings to guide you and dispel any fear of an oncoming exam/ challenge in your life. Ahh yes!!! And my personal favourite, the story that would ensue once you completed any of the above mentioned tasks. Stories from the not so recent past. Some of a war long forgotten, many of a love that movies nowadays seem lack lustre in front of.
When on June 3rd, 2006 I had to resign from the post to take up the next job, I wondered what would happen to this post. Even at age 86 my grandma, or 'Mithi' as we all lovingly called her was one of the most active people I knew. Two tractors and a crane supported by 30 fully grown elephants couldnt stop her from entering the kitchen and making special food for her grandchildren. The last thing i expected on September 12th, 2007 - was the big man upstairs terminating her license to employ and that too w/o a word of warning. I guess its the last thing anyone in the neighbourhood expected.
They say 'Everything happens for the Best'. There are situations in life where the most optimistic of souls would question that statement. What amount of 'the Best' would it take to compensate for the tears of a hundred people. The greater good seems blurry at these instances. It would take these optimists, perhaps weeks before they could see the bigger picture. Perhaps 'the BIG MAN' was one chef short and decieded to call for himself the best that there was on 'Planet Earth'. Some say, that the most important ingredient in any dish is a touch of 'Love'. I guess its no mystery then that Mithi could cook the best dishes on Earth.
P.S.: This post is dedicated to my Grandma. One of the closest people in my life, and one with whom every moment I cherished. Thanks for everything Mithi. May your blessings be with all of us, till we join you in the BIG KITCHEN upstairs.
Lots of love,
POSTMAN.
Over the course of the last month, I have learned a lot of lessons, that most people would perhaps not prefer to learn the HARD way... I have met strange people, whose character sketches, probably the most trained minds in Holly/Tolly/Bolly ~ wood may not have conceived so far and seen sides of acquaintances, that seemed far distant from what one might have imagined of them.... Then again, the world is never short of surprises is it... Just as you think you have settled into the lane where everything just cruises by, life is ready to slap you with yetAnotherSurprise just across the bend.
I have to admit, some of these lessons would come as fairly obvious to the large majority of the un-insane that I keep in touch with.... For example, that the best way to learn the local language is to get into a restaurant, eat for a thousand bucks and tip 1 Rupee, or if you are a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fanatic, then the episode you choose to introduce your folks at home to the world of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. not be the one where Chandler says, "You know when you are at home with a girl and you are doing it, sometimes , images flash by in your mind... like the photocopy girl or even your mum... and you cant stop what you are doing and you just have to keep going and its like you are doing your own mum..."... Needless to say, mum took off the next instant, leaving her "little boy" feeling as weird as the extremeties to which the word can be stretched. Its ironic that probably the only two people who were involved in the enactment of the above scene are the two who will for all instances in time, till Judgement Day, fail to detect any trace of humor in what happened there.
However, there are lessons that do not come as fairly obvious to the normal human mind. Like, just coz you have had clear skies for the last 2 months doesnt mean that you can leave your bike in the company parking on a 3 day trip to your native place. Always be prepared for the worst. Simply put, you take the variables:
a) Clear skies for last 3 months
b) Lots of security at your office
c) Basement parking away from heat of sun and possible winds
Use the function WCS*(variable1, variable2,....) on these.
WCS => Worst Case Scenario
Using these three you get WCS(a, b, c) = 3 x (Heavy Rains the day after you leave) + 2 x (Extensive flooding in the basement) + (Repairs worth atleast 4000) + (Bike that now looks like a cross somwhere between an Nigerian Zebra and a Jamaican spotted cheetah)
Now this bike is special to me for reasons 1,2,3,4...99,100....1001. Perhaps, reason number 1 being the strongest that its the first major purchase of my life from apun ka pocket, from only my second job. I thoroughly enjoy my second job, which is ironic considering that I enjoyed job number 1 a lot as well. The income was not regular, but, job satisfaction was tremendous.
Now the job profile of postman may not seem to match the criteria mentioned above. But what if it were a postman, who had to only deliver mails composed by one of the most special people in his life. Now what if we removed from it the mundanity of only delivering mails, and made it dynamic, say ~ get few groceries, run minor basic errands pertaining to common household and ofcourse have the prestige of being pharmaceutical representative. How could this be even more special? Well, how about if you add to it salary and its associated perks. A special lunch/dinner every now and then. Blessings to guide you and dispel any fear of an oncoming exam/ challenge in your life. Ahh yes!!! And my personal favourite, the story that would ensue once you completed any of the above mentioned tasks. Stories from the not so recent past. Some of a war long forgotten, many of a love that movies nowadays seem lack lustre in front of.
When on June 3rd, 2006 I had to resign from the post to take up the next job, I wondered what would happen to this post. Even at age 86 my grandma, or 'Mithi' as we all lovingly called her was one of the most active people I knew. Two tractors and a crane supported by 30 fully grown elephants couldnt stop her from entering the kitchen and making special food for her grandchildren. The last thing i expected on September 12th, 2007 - was the big man upstairs terminating her license to employ and that too w/o a word of warning. I guess its the last thing anyone in the neighbourhood expected.
They say 'Everything happens for the Best'. There are situations in life where the most optimistic of souls would question that statement. What amount of 'the Best' would it take to compensate for the tears of a hundred people. The greater good seems blurry at these instances. It would take these optimists, perhaps weeks before they could see the bigger picture. Perhaps 'the BIG MAN' was one chef short and decieded to call for himself the best that there was on 'Planet Earth'. Some say, that the most important ingredient in any dish is a touch of 'Love'. I guess its no mystery then that Mithi could cook the best dishes on Earth.
P.S.: This post is dedicated to my Grandma. One of the closest people in my life, and one with whom every moment I cherished. Thanks for everything Mithi. May your blessings be with all of us, till we join you in the BIG KITCHEN upstairs.
Lots of love,
POSTMAN.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Apun gay nahin he!!!!
K... about a week or so back i was tagged by this friend Anphy... The tag asks this of me, "Write eight random facts about ur life and pass it on to 8 people"... Well... Part one seems like a good chance to advertise myself to the female community out der... Now if only i cud loan out a bit of narcissism from here i think i could do some justice to the 'art of lying very well'... Honesty, might not be the best policy here... So, ladies, if you all get very impressed by some random ranting here, well, take a token and please stand in queue... Its rite next to the line titled -"Down with the Procrastinator!!! Snipe the nut" which consists of
a) Girls who know me well
b) Girls who read my previous post (Yes... wat u heard is true... I did recieve threat notes)
The second part... what yaar... work in McAfee and spam people... ye mujhse nahin hoga... Doesnt seem rite to a person with moral fabric like mine (yes... u guessed it rite... the lying has begun)... K... enuf beating 'bout the Bush (lets leave that to Mr. Osama and the spirit of Sadam Hussain shall v)... Lemme start boring random souls here.
First and the most important thing to clear... I am not GAY... I dont know what google has against or for what reason i hav been dragged(by GOOGLE) into this massive conspiracy to defame me, but, trust me when I say this... The GAYchaat* ad often put up rite next to my blog is not my idea... Its not the first time google has tried to defame me in such a manner... Check this out. Abe yaar... Abhi, 6ft 5in man, with rippling muscles is someone you wont mistake me for even if you suffer from severe incremenosoma ( a disease i just made up in which someone like me looks like the above description) - ppl who know me would have guessed that its a very serious disease, and, Richard Gere - as soon as he hears about it will be down tokiss Shilpa Shetty all over again spread Incremenosoma awareness
Secondly, and I am absolutely sure this wont come as a surprise to you... I am exceptionally talented in the art of procrastinating.. Its what i do... Procrastinate - delegate - laze around all day while pretending to be very very busy and get my work done by others... Infact, I am so amazed of this piece of talent of mine, that i am considering taking up an MBA degree... I mite just pass out in one year, given that I am naturally gifted at all the skills a manager should possess... :)
DISCLAIMER: The above said for all practical purposes does not apply to my manager... Especially if he reads it...
Thirdly, I am very easily inspired... Anything and everything inspires me... Even the movie Shivaji...( well... for sure...if any Rajni fan reads this I am gonna end up with a broken spine tomorrow)... But, once inspired the heat drops exponentially... Dont ask me what-when-why-how...?? Manufacturing defect i think... just like the Motorola mobiles... Charges up in 20 minutes.. Discharges in 5... wow... wat a technology... I mean...companies of the repute of Motorola cant have these kind of manufacturing defects can they (:p)
Wow... I know its just the next paragraph here, but, its taken me 3 more weeks to get here..Believe it or not... I have actually been busy... Piled up under tons of work.. Mayb even quintals.. Man... My average time in the office has not been less than 11 hours for the last month... (P.S.: This sentence you are allowed to show my manager... Infact, its largely been put for his benefit... Please someone point it out to him)
Neways... where was I? Oh yeah...
Number four ... Number four would be... hmmm... I am blank... completely blank... Yeah sure, I would love to say i am daring, dashing and extremely charming... But, I hear there are laws against lying to that extent in many countries... That I cant afford... Any country that has laws weird enough as that is bound to have a female dumb enough to go into wedlock with me.
Five, Six, Seven and Eight... I am gonna keep this short just incase there are any of you somehow, by some miracle of nature still left awake... Atleast once you ALL shouldnt fall asleep during this period of weekly/monthly torture you subject yourself to. So here's the express train:
Am a big fan of travelling/trekking. Have to go out somewhere atleast once a month.
New passion... Biking.. Only coz I spend a huge amount of money on buying one, scraped one Window, which for some reason the girls find 'koooool' and have mistaken me to be extremely daring performing stunts on the same 24 7... GOD forbid any of these meet the vegetable vendor I almost ran over.
The two things that matter most to me in the world are friendship and family... Ofcourse, this select friendship is restricted to only those who strongly believe in "Never borrow, always lend if you want to keep a friend" and family cause, one of the only two ladies who have ever called me handsome (true to the saying, "A face only a mum could love") is my mum. The other, well, I dont want to divulge much information right now, but, I want to request you all to pray for her Eye Surgery scheduled later this month.
Oh... finally... I am here.. Number eight... Hmmmm... I strongly dislike the word "Whatever"... Infact I hate it... Don ask me y?? Guess its one of those crazy things every individual must have, how much ever they did like to consider themselves normal (Yes, that includes you as well)... Like a close friend once said to me... "You are unique, just like everyone else"
Oh and... wrt passing on the tag, i choose Princess Banter and Anuradha. Definitely two of the better bloggers i know and I cant wait to read their posts on this.
a) Girls who know me well
b) Girls who read my previous post (Yes... wat u heard is true... I did recieve threat notes)
The second part... what yaar... work in McAfee and spam people... ye mujhse nahin hoga... Doesnt seem rite to a person with moral fabric like mine (yes... u guessed it rite... the lying has begun)... K... enuf beating 'bout the Bush (lets leave that to Mr. Osama and the spirit of Sadam Hussain shall v)... Lemme start boring random souls here.
First and the most important thing to clear... I am not GAY... I dont know what google has against or for what reason i hav been dragged(by GOOGLE) into this massive conspiracy to defame me, but, trust me when I say this... The GAYchaat* ad often put up rite next to my blog is not my idea... Its not the first time google has tried to defame me in such a manner... Check this out. Abe yaar... Abhi, 6ft 5in man, with rippling muscles is someone you wont mistake me for even if you suffer from severe incremenosoma ( a disease i just made up in which someone like me looks like the above description) - ppl who know me would have guessed that its a very serious disease, and, Richard Gere - as soon as he hears about it will be down to
Secondly, and I am absolutely sure this wont come as a surprise to you... I am exceptionally talented in the art of procrastinating.. Its what i do... Procrastinate - delegate - laze around all day while pretending to be very very busy and get my work done by others... Infact, I am so amazed of this piece of talent of mine, that i am considering taking up an MBA degree... I mite just pass out in one year, given that I am naturally gifted at all the skills a manager should possess... :)
DISCLAIMER: The above said for all practical purposes does not apply to my manager... Especially if he reads it...
Thirdly, I am very easily inspired... Anything and everything inspires me... Even the movie Shivaji...( well... for sure...if any Rajni fan reads this I am gonna end up with a broken spine tomorrow)... But, once inspired the heat drops exponentially... Dont ask me what-when-why-how...?? Manufacturing defect i think... just like the Motorola mobiles... Charges up in 20 minutes.. Discharges in 5... wow... wat a technology... I mean...companies of the repute of Motorola cant have these kind of manufacturing defects can they (:p)
Wow... I know its just the next paragraph here, but, its taken me 3 more weeks to get here..Believe it or not... I have actually been busy... Piled up under tons of work.. Mayb even quintals.. Man... My average time in the office has not been less than 11 hours for the last month... (P.S.: This sentence you are allowed to show my manager... Infact, its largely been put for his benefit... Please someone point it out to him)
Neways... where was I? Oh yeah...
Number four ... Number four would be... hmmm... I am blank... completely blank... Yeah sure, I would love to say i am daring, dashing and extremely charming... But, I hear there are laws against lying to that extent in many countries... That I cant afford... Any country that has laws weird enough as that is bound to have a female dumb enough to go into wedlock with me.
Five, Six, Seven and Eight... I am gonna keep this short just incase there are any of you somehow, by some miracle of nature still left awake... Atleast once you ALL shouldnt fall asleep during this period of weekly/monthly torture you subject yourself to. So here's the express train:
Am a big fan of travelling/trekking. Have to go out somewhere atleast once a month.
New passion... Biking.. Only coz I spend a huge amount of money on buying one, scraped one Window, which for some reason the girls find 'koooool' and have mistaken me to be extremely daring performing stunts on the same 24 7... GOD forbid any of these meet the vegetable vendor I almost ran over.
The two things that matter most to me in the world are friendship and family... Ofcourse, this select friendship is restricted to only those who strongly believe in "Never borrow, always lend if you want to keep a friend" and family cause, one of the only two ladies who have ever called me handsome (true to the saying, "A face only a mum could love") is my mum. The other, well, I dont want to divulge much information right now, but, I want to request you all to pray for her Eye Surgery scheduled later this month.
Oh... finally... I am here.. Number eight... Hmmmm... I strongly dislike the word "Whatever"... Infact I hate it... Don ask me y?? Guess its one of those crazy things every individual must have, how much ever they did like to consider themselves normal (Yes, that includes you as well)... Like a close friend once said to me... "You are unique, just like everyone else"
Oh and... wrt passing on the tag, i choose Princess Banter and Anuradha. Definitely two of the better bloggers i know and I cant wait to read their posts on this.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
My Dad DOESNT understand vacations!!!!
"Here I am,
This is me,
There's nowhere else on earth i did rather be.."
Incase you are all thinking that, yet again I have been hit in the head repeatedly, with an unassorted collection of Bryan Adams CD's, for stocking away a lot more than what one might call a fair share of free-coffee, well, you are partially right... I have been filling up my stomach, and now, even certain areas of the liver and pancreas as a NON- VIOLENT mark of protest against the so called "Limited Stock of Free Soft Drinks" (We the protesters even have our very own community now)... But that was about a week ago... This week... I am at home, happily hoggin away at tons and tons of free scrumptious food.
P.S. : If you guessed that I am a mallu from the repeated use of the word Free... No prizes bro... We are a universally stingy brethren. Oh!!! And if you guessed that this blog is going to be about home and all the characters present there, give yourself three brownie points. Collect twenty and you could just win a date. I am not appending 'with me' to that sentence, coz it could and probably would scare off a lot (all two of them) of the readers.
So here it is... A small glimpse into this little abode i call as 'Veedu'
Character Sketch One: Bajh
Real Name: Babu Mathews Profession: Fathering and Fatherism's
Head of the house. Idealist, perfectionist, charming, hard working, perserverant, dynamism and intelligence is a short list of genes that were not passed down from his genes set to me. The list while lengthy enough I should warn you is by no means complete. He has just come down from Bahrain for vacation and as expected is already busy shaping up the place. While, to the naked eye the room might be spic and span, his eyes well... they could pick up a dust particle from a mile. Of the one month that he is here, he gets to gyaan (pass down his knowledge) me only fer one week... Lucky me... 22 years and you did think all the gyaan-ing has been done. Not quite is what i wud say.
We do spend our bits of time together... You kno manly types... The father son thing... For example, yesterday, we had a father son outing, which, brings me to
Character Sketch Two: Bavish
Real Name: Revon Mathews Profession: Being a sibling of variant . type cast-Very sweet to Very . very very very dangerous
Unless you guys/gals suffer frm very very (plz add 3 more very's) short term memory loss, you will remember about the father-son periodic manly outing that i mentioned some time bk... Well, these outings in the context of Home Ministry are classified as Errands... Like, yesterday, when we both drove all the way to the city to get Lakhme 651. Now, all the while during this manly outing, i could wonder only one thing.... 651??? As in, 3 digit number??? Are there like a 1000 varieties of colours girls use to impress guys??? I took a hand count then...13... thats all i cud name... I took a quick survey... the list was topped at 18 by a nearby cousin... dats it... dats all v males can do...??? 18... so y pay that extra hundred for something that, hard as we may try, cant physically distinguish??
Oh and here's what tops it... Ven i finally got to the lipstick, the shopkeeper told me, that it was a colorless variety... Hmmm... 1000 different varities of colorless lipstick??? Just when we thought, women couldnt get any more complicated.
Character Sketch Three: Hamish
Real Name: Elizabeth Mathews Profession:House wife part timing as mum
Now, mum here, well, more than anything else, she is known for Arachnophobia (fear of spiders)... How am i so well acquainted with that term?? Well, you wouldnt forget it either, if you witnessed mumssense ofsenseless reflex to these creatures... For one, I am sure dad wouldnt forget todays experience, when we went out for a drive to one of the busiest cities of Kerala (Ernakulam). Quite drive. Dad took over the wheels after a while, while I moved towards my second favorite activity - sleeping. Screeeeecccch!!!
Now, at first, I was not sure whether what transpired in the next few minutes was a dream or a bad dream*. I watched as my mum continued in probably a near successful attempt at bursting her lungs, while at the same time, jumping up and down, in only what i can guess was a random experiment to measure the spring constant of the seat.
*(It sure din seem real)
In the following scene, I gaze in horror as mum pops open the door at a traffic signal and tries in vain to beat atleast Michael Johnson's record of 100m in 10.12 seconds. I had barely recovered from this, when I see my dad being pulled out of the car by the traffic policeman for "attempting to harm a lady". I would just have gone back to sleep then if another cop didnt continue banging on my window. I noticed a spider on the roof, and, luckily enuf( being more than familiar with this kind of fiasco) guess wat had transpired in the last couple of minutes. I explained the same to the cop, while dad, trying to hide a cocktail of emotions, gently nodded along. It took a further 10 minutes to locate mum. But I am guessing that, it is short duration compared to the period of time DAD's gonna remember this incident.
Well, those are the characters that live closest to me at home. I would love to detail about the characters (i.e., three families of cousins which live next to me - each one with their unique trademarks- and each equally, if not more interesting) but, There are miles to go before I sleep and not to mention a DAD to coax b4 I sleep. I am not sure whether this mite b the best of incidents for him so far. I am sure he's got lot more interesting tales. Let me c, if i can get him to elicit a few more ;).
This is me,
There's nowhere else on earth i did rather be.."
Incase you are all thinking that, yet again I have been hit in the head repeatedly, with an unassorted collection of Bryan Adams CD's, for stocking away a lot more than what one might call a fair share of free-coffee, well, you are partially right... I have been filling up my stomach, and now, even certain areas of the liver and pancreas as a NON- VIOLENT mark of protest against the so called "Limited Stock of Free Soft Drinks" (We the protesters even have our very own community now)... But that was about a week ago... This week... I am at home, happily hoggin away at tons and tons of free scrumptious food.
P.S. : If you guessed that I am a mallu from the repeated use of the word Free... No prizes bro... We are a universally stingy brethren. Oh!!! And if you guessed that this blog is going to be about home and all the characters present there, give yourself three brownie points. Collect twenty and you could just win a date. I am not appending 'with me' to that sentence, coz it could and probably would scare off a lot (all two of them) of the readers.
So here it is... A small glimpse into this little abode i call as 'Veedu'
Character Sketch One: Bajh
Real Name: Babu Mathews Profession: Fathering and Fatherism's
Head of the house. Idealist, perfectionist, charming, hard working, perserverant, dynamism and intelligence is a short list of genes that were not passed down from his genes set to me. The list while lengthy enough I should warn you is by no means complete. He has just come down from Bahrain for vacation and as expected is already busy shaping up the place. While, to the naked eye the room might be spic and span, his eyes well... they could pick up a dust particle from a mile. Of the one month that he is here, he gets to gyaan (pass down his knowledge) me only fer one week... Lucky me... 22 years and you did think all the gyaan-ing has been done. Not quite is what i wud say.
We do spend our bits of time together... You kno manly types... The father son thing... For example, yesterday, we had a father son outing, which, brings me to
Character Sketch Two: Bavish
Real Name: Revon Mathews Profession: Being a sibling of variant . type cast-Very sweet to Very . very very very dangerous
Unless you guys/gals suffer frm very very (plz add 3 more very's) short term memory loss, you will remember about the father-son periodic manly outing that i mentioned some time bk... Well, these outings in the context of Home Ministry are classified as Errands... Like, yesterday, when we both drove all the way to the city to get Lakhme 651. Now, all the while during this manly outing, i could wonder only one thing.... 651??? As in, 3 digit number??? Are there like a 1000 varieties of colours girls use to impress guys??? I took a hand count then...13... thats all i cud name... I took a quick survey... the list was topped at 18 by a nearby cousin... dats it... dats all v males can do...??? 18... so y pay that extra hundred for something that, hard as we may try, cant physically distinguish??
Oh and here's what tops it... Ven i finally got to the lipstick, the shopkeeper told me, that it was a colorless variety... Hmmm... 1000 different varities of colorless lipstick??? Just when we thought, women couldnt get any more complicated.
Character Sketch Three: Hamish
Real Name: Elizabeth Mathews Profession:House wife part timing as mum
Now, mum here, well, more than anything else, she is known for Arachnophobia (fear of spiders)... How am i so well acquainted with that term?? Well, you wouldnt forget it either, if you witnessed mums
Now, at first, I was not sure whether what transpired in the next few minutes was a dream or a bad dream*. I watched as my mum continued in probably a near successful attempt at bursting her lungs, while at the same time, jumping up and down, in only what i can guess was a random experiment to measure the spring constant of the seat.
*(It sure din seem real)
In the following scene, I gaze in horror as mum pops open the door at a traffic signal and tries in vain to beat atleast Michael Johnson's record of 100m in 10.12 seconds. I had barely recovered from this, when I see my dad being pulled out of the car by the traffic policeman for "attempting to harm a lady". I would just have gone back to sleep then if another cop didnt continue banging on my window. I noticed a spider on the roof, and, luckily enuf( being more than familiar with this kind of fiasco) guess wat had transpired in the last couple of minutes. I explained the same to the cop, while dad, trying to hide a cocktail of emotions, gently nodded along. It took a further 10 minutes to locate mum. But I am guessing that, it is short duration compared to the period of time DAD's gonna remember this incident.
Well, those are the characters that live closest to me at home. I would love to detail about the characters (i.e., three families of cousins which live next to me - each one with their unique trademarks- and each equally, if not more interesting) but, There are miles to go before I sleep and not to mention a DAD to coax b4 I sleep. I am not sure whether this mite b the best of incidents for him so far. I am sure he's got lot more interesting tales. Let me c, if i can get him to elicit a few more ;).
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Of Cat and Mice and a percentage of a billion random thoughts in my head
Ever had a brief point in your life where you wished you could be invisible. Maybe run away so that no one could see you. Hide. Hide from responsibilites, ghosts of past mistakes, and, while at it avoid a few meteors that are being hurled at you by an imaginary being. Yup!!! Deny it as much as you want, but, deep down, we all know that we have been there... Something that we cannot avoid, or rather should not miss... These moments define us... And how one handles such situations defines the integrity of his/her charachter.
Ah well... A lot of big words to describe the cat and mouse games that have been going around in the office fer the last couple of weeks.
DISCLAIMER:This is gonna be one long post. So all you insomaniacs out there, come down here and lets see how much of a help Dr Ro can be. The rest of you, well, read at your own risk.
The story starts almost a couple of weeks ago when the company hires a bunch of software consultants. It was a scary day that one. Long story short, innocent little fresher was asked to interview a bunch of candidates, each 4+ years exp. minimum. And when we say innocent little fresher, we mean the kind you see on the NIIT ads, where any doofus who can spell C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R properly (without hiccupping more than two times b/w consecutive alphabets)* gets kidnapped from the doorstep of his college, is put in a chair and assigned a fancy name like 'Assistant Principal Stress Analyst cum Rejeuvanation Engineer' (which basically means, bring coffee to the boss when he looks drowsy) and is promised a rewarding career with an incentive of taking away a moderately bigger box of peanuts than the neighbourhood sabji-waali, at the end of each month for his contribution to the pockets of google and Orkut Bayyukotten. Hmmmmm!!! Could that sentence be entered in the Guiness Book of World Records for longest sentence ever? You let me know.
Each of these "engineers" can probably remember the day, when their respective companies came to their campus, enticed them with photos of FTV models in their PPT's, saying, "At HiBeeHem, we try to encourage the recruitment of more female engineers, which we believe is necessary for the progress of this country". Man. Those pseudo-messiah's. It would be another 2 months b4 any of these engineers learnt that these companies had lesser females than, Shahid Kapoor - facial hair. And the rare good ones that he would spot, would already have been tagged - Sati Saavitri Pati Vrata Bhaarathiya Naari, which essentially means, "Someone's already bagged this prize bro - go knock at some other door"
Back to story: 5 software consultants, get hired to do a job that a single LKG student, with half the IQ of a retarded mouse could do in 5 days. The team is assigned 45 days and our hero is assigned the task of guiding them in this epic mission. Easy he thought. He he. Looks like the mistress of fate, would not be letting him go that easy. 3 days into work and he soon realizes why these people get paid so much. Simply put, they were excellent naggers who had the uncanny nack of sittin rite under your nose 24 7, till YOU got their job done for them. Apt Managerial candidates these. They even knew how to make something as trivial as a spelling mismatch sound as big as an Earth quake in Timbucktoo that could bring about Tsunami's all over India.
5 minutes of time at his desk is something that would be a hard fought luxury. Rest of the day would have to be spent feeding cerelac to the boss, these consultants referred to as "THE TEAM LEAD" (To achieve the IQ level of a dead DODO was perhaps a distant reality for this chap). U gu gu gu ga... Wat did you say? You dont know the spelling of 'variable' and want me to come to your desk and fix it... Ok duddu baby... I ll jus be there... Dont cry
A cat and mouse game he would have to play. A spot did he find at the far end of the company where he could put his comp and do a remote session to his computer to work. Life would now be an adventure. New routes would he have to adopt to escape the CDB's (Cerelac Duddu Babies). A coffee break would mean sending spies ahead to monitor the premises.
Agent NOT NOT Shaven: Report your status. Is the coast clear for Mamma Mia?
Spy Chai(That means you Pichai): All seems clear. No sign of the CDB's.
Mamma Mia a.k.a. Cerelac Feeder: Are we a go spy-chai?
Spy Chai: We are a go Miss...uh sorry...Mr Mia.
The team quietly baby steps to the pantry. Long jumps across passages would minimize the probability of being spotted. And finally.
Mama Mia: Here we are boyz... The pantry... Job well done.
Spoken too soon... Here come the CDB's... Execute Plan B:Freeze.. Agent NOT NOT Shaven, Spy Chai and Soukara form a barrier round the Mama.
Mama Mia: You know the plan boys... Light rays... Block all light rays trying to reach the contours of my body. You carry this out well, and, we represent india in the Synchronized Swimming competition next year.30 seconds of suspense later, our valiant heroes are a happy bunch. A close call that was to say the least.
The next week was spent in developing more escape strategies. Better and more efficient algorithms. Maps were drawn out. Shortest routes to the nearest loo from any random point 'x' in the company as a function of distance, time and hazards encountered en route were calculated in the unlikely event that there was a fundamental flaw(S1 P1 bug) in perhaps the most robust algorithm that had been penned down by a bunch of lazy engineers.
In the last one year in the company I had never spent lesser time at the pantry or more in the loo. Toilet paper rolls had turned out to be our heroes best friend in these testing times. He would crib endlessly to them.
In the coming days, our hero wud become one with this tribe - TATA (The Available Toilet Accessories). He would share their pains, whether they be torturous songs by fellow McAloreans with the singing capacity of a feverish Himesh Reshammiya or encounters of the fourth kind with amnesiatic McAlorens who had not been taught the purpose of THE FLUSH.
Its been two weeks now since that uneventful day (the day of the hiring).The toilet GODs were not merciful ones he had learnt. They didnt answer prayers. Probably not so soon. Our hero still evades the CDB as Laloo Prasad Yadav his tooth brush.
This journey would not be an easy one, nor would it be a short one. Will our hero get through this alive? Will he be able to visit his parents who have come down to India for their once in a year trip? Or will the toilet GODS continue to heave their wrath on this poor engineer?
I am pretty much sure that right now you think I am escaped journalist from CNN-IBN. "Hi, I am Rajdeep Sardesai and the question we are asking tonight is : Should Sachin Tendulkar be endorsing VIP Frenchie or EURO underwears? To know what India thinks, log onto to www.ibnlive.com As of now 10% are in support of VIP and 8 in support of EURO. The rest have polled for our new category... "i dont give a %$&^$% beep beep beep @#%!@#$%"."
Thank you and do tune into www.yetanotherachievement.blogspot.com for more updates on this story. Join us as we track the story of our hero RGM all week only on, C-Annan-RGM. Gnite and tc yo all :). (Atleast the two of you who do read my posts)
Ah well... A lot of big words to describe the cat and mouse games that have been going around in the office fer the last couple of weeks.
DISCLAIMER:This is gonna be one long post. So all you insomaniacs out there, come down here and lets see how much of a help Dr Ro can be. The rest of you, well, read at your own risk.
The story starts almost a couple of weeks ago when the company hires a bunch of software consultants. It was a scary day that one. Long story short, innocent little fresher was asked to interview a bunch of candidates, each 4+ years exp. minimum. And when we say innocent little fresher, we mean the kind you see on the NIIT ads, where any doofus who can spell C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R properly (without hiccupping more than two times b/w consecutive alphabets)* gets kidnapped from the doorstep of his college, is put in a chair and assigned a fancy name like 'Assistant Principal Stress Analyst cum Rejeuvanation Engineer' (which basically means, bring coffee to the boss when he looks drowsy) and is promised a rewarding career with an incentive of taking away a moderately bigger box of peanuts than the neighbourhood sabji-waali, at the end of each month for his contribution to the pockets of google and Orkut Bayyukotten. Hmmmmm!!! Could that sentence be entered in the Guiness Book of World Records for longest sentence ever? You let me know.
Each of these "engineers" can probably remember the day, when their respective companies came to their campus, enticed them with photos of FTV models in their PPT's, saying, "At HiBeeHem, we try to encourage the recruitment of more female engineers, which we believe is necessary for the progress of this country". Man. Those pseudo-messiah's. It would be another 2 months b4 any of these engineers learnt that these companies had lesser females than, Shahid Kapoor - facial hair. And the rare good ones that he would spot, would already have been tagged - Sati Saavitri Pati Vrata Bhaarathiya Naari, which essentially means, "Someone's already bagged this prize bro - go knock at some other door"
Back to story: 5 software consultants, get hired to do a job that a single LKG student, with half the IQ of a retarded mouse could do in 5 days. The team is assigned 45 days and our hero is assigned the task of guiding them in this epic mission. Easy he thought. He he. Looks like the mistress of fate, would not be letting him go that easy. 3 days into work and he soon realizes why these people get paid so much. Simply put, they were excellent naggers who had the uncanny nack of sittin rite under your nose 24 7, till YOU got their job done for them. Apt Managerial candidates these. They even knew how to make something as trivial as a spelling mismatch sound as big as an Earth quake in Timbucktoo that could bring about Tsunami's all over India.
5 minutes of time at his desk is something that would be a hard fought luxury. Rest of the day would have to be spent feeding cerelac to the boss, these consultants referred to as "THE TEAM LEAD" (To achieve the IQ level of a dead DODO was perhaps a distant reality for this chap). U gu gu gu ga... Wat did you say? You dont know the spelling of 'variable' and want me to come to your desk and fix it... Ok duddu baby... I ll jus be there... Dont cry
A cat and mouse game he would have to play. A spot did he find at the far end of the company where he could put his comp and do a remote session to his computer to work. Life would now be an adventure. New routes would he have to adopt to escape the CDB's (Cerelac Duddu Babies). A coffee break would mean sending spies ahead to monitor the premises.
Agent NOT NOT Shaven: Report your status. Is the coast clear for Mamma Mia?
Spy Chai(That means you Pichai): All seems clear. No sign of the CDB's.
Mamma Mia a.k.a. Cerelac Feeder: Are we a go spy-chai?
Spy Chai: We are a go Miss...uh sorry...Mr Mia.
The team quietly baby steps to the pantry. Long jumps across passages would minimize the probability of being spotted. And finally.
Mama Mia: Here we are boyz... The pantry... Job well done.
Spoken too soon... Here come the CDB's... Execute Plan B:Freeze.. Agent NOT NOT Shaven, Spy Chai and Soukara form a barrier round the Mama.
Mama Mia: You know the plan boys... Light rays... Block all light rays trying to reach the contours of my body. You carry this out well, and, we represent india in the Synchronized Swimming competition next year.30 seconds of suspense later, our valiant heroes are a happy bunch. A close call that was to say the least.
The next week was spent in developing more escape strategies. Better and more efficient algorithms. Maps were drawn out. Shortest routes to the nearest loo from any random point 'x' in the company as a function of distance, time and hazards encountered en route were calculated in the unlikely event that there was a fundamental flaw(S1 P1 bug) in perhaps the most robust algorithm that had been penned down by a bunch of lazy engineers.
In the last one year in the company I had never spent lesser time at the pantry or more in the loo. Toilet paper rolls had turned out to be our heroes best friend in these testing times. He would crib endlessly to them.
In the coming days, our hero wud become one with this tribe - TATA (The Available Toilet Accessories). He would share their pains, whether they be torturous songs by fellow McAloreans with the singing capacity of a feverish Himesh Reshammiya or encounters of the fourth kind with amnesiatic McAlorens who had not been taught the purpose of THE FLUSH.
Its been two weeks now since that uneventful day (the day of the hiring).The toilet GODs were not merciful ones he had learnt. They didnt answer prayers. Probably not so soon. Our hero still evades the CDB as Laloo Prasad Yadav his tooth brush.
This journey would not be an easy one, nor would it be a short one. Will our hero get through this alive? Will he be able to visit his parents who have come down to India for their once in a year trip? Or will the toilet GODS continue to heave their wrath on this poor engineer?
I am pretty much sure that right now you think I am escaped journalist from CNN-IBN. "Hi, I am Rajdeep Sardesai and the question we are asking tonight is : Should Sachin Tendulkar be endorsing VIP Frenchie or EURO underwears? To know what India thinks, log onto to www.ibnlive.com As of now 10% are in support of VIP and 8 in support of EURO. The rest have polled for our new category... "i dont give a %$&^$% beep beep beep @#%!@#$%"."
Thank you and do tune into www.yetanotherachievement.blogspot.com for more updates on this story. Join us as we track the story of our hero RGM all week only on, C-Annan-RGM. Gnite and tc yo all :). (Atleast the two of you who do read my posts)
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Of Murphy and his WiCkEd wIcKeD lawZ!!!
Pre Requisite:Murphy's LAW
Saturday evening 8:45 pm: He had been working continously for the past 10 hours for now, without any breaks save his not-so-brief twenty minute ordeal with the contents of the Noodle Packet. Whoever gave the caption, "Maggi two minute noodles", thought he, had conveniently forgotten to mention the HAZARDS OF MAKING NOODLES or atleast the DO NOT's. He was confident about one thing though. His next noodle session would be a grand success. In whatever way it was possible to screw up the art: "noodle-making" he had already done that evening. Next time he wouldnt forget to add the water before putting it into the microwave atleast. Not unless he wanted to he wanted to hear the sweet chants of the fire alarm and the rhythmic grace with which foreign guards uttered obscenties ...once again!!!
Yup... The signs were already there... This was going to be ONEofTHOSEdayz.
Nothing had been going right that day. He repeatedly exchanged quick glances between the circuit diagram and the bread board. Why wasnt it working? He wished he had just chosen to be a software engineer. If all else failed, there wud always be the Ctrl-C Ctrl-V.
There existed a solitary pleasant thought in his mind then. She was expecting a call from him that evening. Their first since the 3 months they had started chatting. He had precisely calculated the time differences. It should be exactly 7:33 in her watch right now. 8:50(on her watch) was the time they had agreed upon. Precautions had been taken from both sides. He was only too aware of the ordeal of "Rendezvous with beastly DAD of the beauty".
Easy he thought. 15 minutes to wrap up work. Walk home. Buy dinner. (No more fiascos tonite). Eat. Relax. Call at 10. Past reputation had earned him the epithet "the miser". Not tonite. Money didnt matter tonite.
One hour and fifteen minutes later: (10:05 pm local time)
Arrrrghhhhh!!! The generator had been screaming in his ear for the past fifteen minutes. To make things worse, there was this really irritating flashing of light coming from the distant corner of the living room for the past 5 minutes. He moved to the source. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Oh no !!! Oh no!!! How could he have been so stupid to keep the mobile in silent mode? What point was a reminder set on the alarm if it didnt have the squeaking capacity of a mouse subjected to two torturous hours of Himesh Reshammiya songs.
Its a good thing there was a phone booth just below his house. He looked into his purse.Oh Oh. Re 10. Maybe he could just say "Hello... Srini-vas here" and cut the phone. Hmmmm!!! Dont think she would be too happy abt that!!! Ah... There was always the ever dependable Shaar... Gr8 roomie this guy... Never short of cash. Only a couple of days ago had he seen Shaar hangin 500 Rs notes to dry.
He should have paid heed to the signs... This was gonna be Murphy's Day.. Shaar had chosen the wrong day to go out shopping. Atleast the wrong time... He looked to his other roomies... The smiles on their faces indicated that he would have better luck trying to squeeze wisdom out of George Bush's speeches.
ICICI bank!!! There was an ICICI atm nearby. If he leapt at lightnin pace, he could get the money just b4 'princess' put him in yetAnotherTardyNut category. Run did he to the atm. Murphy's Law: Corollary 3C: The length of the queue (esp at testing times) is inversely proportional to the amount of time one has to spare. Corollary 3C : Sub Section A: If the time left is a real number less than or equal to zero, ther would be a plus 5-member in the queue. In addition probability of there being a female shopper (the ones that would take out the money, just get out of the ATM and run back in to grab an extra 300 more) would double.
It would be 10 more minutes before he learned that, for reasons beyond paranormal, his HSBC card would not work on this ICICI atm today (the first in the last 38 times he had been to the ATM). Either that or he had picked the perfect day to forget his 6 digit pin number*.
No seconds thoughts... Our hero now made a dash to the nearest HSBC bank... Strange no queue!!!!! Surely, Murphy was trying to outsmart him... somehow. He quicky withdrew the money from the ATM.
"Where is the phone booth?", asked he to the security guard. "I think there should be one right next to Nexus building. Just go left", replied the guard in perfect English. Murphy was definitely trying to set him up here. He would show Murphy who the smarter one of the two was. There would be no indecision. Took two steps did he to the left and then run to the right. He he!!! He would only allow Murphy a teasing sniff of victory before he outwitted him.
There was a reason Murphy had a law named after him. He could not so easily be outwitted. Our hero would have to return to the phone booth right beneath his house, where the Q#%$#$ generator was trying busy trying to prove that he had the noisiest growl of them all.
Apparently, choice was something he was not going to have in plenty today. Valiantly he stepped into "ThePhoneBooth". 00-93-555-55215544. The number would remain engrained in his mind for a long time. No more hassles here.
Hmmmph!!! Was it worth it??? Would a voice somewhere in the distant corner of the world be nearly as sweet as the extreme his imagination would let him percieve?? And to what end?? What fruitful gain could there possibly be from this "conversation"... the little which he could hear, that was not drowned in the monotonous noise of the generator.
"Hey U", said a voice on the other end of the phone. There are few... very few instances in life where one gets to find out that even Imagination had its limits. The voice on the other end. Memories of the days hardships vanished in an instant. He could not have prayed and gotten anything more beautiful.
All of the best things in life are worth fighting for. Only a few of them, would you look back and say. "Hmmmmm.... I wonder if I did enuf to deserve this reward". This could easily top that list. The story has perhaps only begun.
Saturday evening 8:45 pm: He had been working continously for the past 10 hours for now, without any breaks save his not-so-brief twenty minute ordeal with the contents of the Noodle Packet. Whoever gave the caption, "Maggi two minute noodles", thought he, had conveniently forgotten to mention the HAZARDS OF MAKING NOODLES or atleast the DO NOT's. He was confident about one thing though. His next noodle session would be a grand success. In whatever way it was possible to screw up the art: "noodle-making" he had already done that evening. Next time he wouldnt forget to add the water before putting it into the microwave atleast. Not unless he wanted to he wanted to hear the sweet chants of the fire alarm and the rhythmic grace with which foreign guards uttered obscenties ...once again!!!
Yup... The signs were already there... This was going to be ONEofTHOSEdayz.
Nothing had been going right that day. He repeatedly exchanged quick glances between the circuit diagram and the bread board. Why wasnt it working? He wished he had just chosen to be a software engineer. If all else failed, there wud always be the Ctrl-C Ctrl-V.
There existed a solitary pleasant thought in his mind then. She was expecting a call from him that evening. Their first since the 3 months they had started chatting. He had precisely calculated the time differences. It should be exactly 7:33 in her watch right now. 8:50(on her watch) was the time they had agreed upon. Precautions had been taken from both sides. He was only too aware of the ordeal of "Rendezvous with beastly DAD of the beauty".
Easy he thought. 15 minutes to wrap up work. Walk home. Buy dinner. (No more fiascos tonite). Eat. Relax. Call at 10. Past reputation had earned him the epithet "the miser". Not tonite. Money didnt matter tonite.
One hour and fifteen minutes later: (10:05 pm local time)
Arrrrghhhhh!!! The generator had been screaming in his ear for the past fifteen minutes. To make things worse, there was this really irritating flashing of light coming from the distant corner of the living room for the past 5 minutes. He moved to the source. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Oh no !!! Oh no!!! How could he have been so stupid to keep the mobile in silent mode? What point was a reminder set on the alarm if it didnt have the squeaking capacity of a mouse subjected to two torturous hours of Himesh Reshammiya songs.
Its a good thing there was a phone booth just below his house. He looked into his purse.Oh Oh. Re 10. Maybe he could just say "Hello... Srini-vas here" and cut the phone. Hmmmm!!! Dont think she would be too happy abt that!!! Ah... There was always the ever dependable Shaar... Gr8 roomie this guy... Never short of cash. Only a couple of days ago had he seen Shaar hangin 500 Rs notes to dry.
He should have paid heed to the signs... This was gonna be Murphy's Day.. Shaar had chosen the wrong day to go out shopping. Atleast the wrong time... He looked to his other roomies... The smiles on their faces indicated that he would have better luck trying to squeeze wisdom out of George Bush's speeches.
ICICI bank!!! There was an ICICI atm nearby. If he leapt at lightnin pace, he could get the money just b4 'princess' put him in yetAnotherTardyNut category. Run did he to the atm. Murphy's Law: Corollary 3C: The length of the queue (esp at testing times) is inversely proportional to the amount of time one has to spare. Corollary 3C : Sub Section A: If the time left is a real number less than or equal to zero, ther would be a plus 5-member in the queue. In addition probability of there being a female shopper (the ones that would take out the money, just get out of the ATM and run back in to grab an extra 300 more) would double.
It would be 10 more minutes before he learned that, for reasons beyond paranormal, his HSBC card would not work on this ICICI atm today (the first in the last 38 times he had been to the ATM). Either that or he had picked the perfect day to forget his 6 digit pin number*.
No seconds thoughts... Our hero now made a dash to the nearest HSBC bank... Strange no queue!!!!! Surely, Murphy was trying to outsmart him... somehow. He quicky withdrew the money from the ATM.
"Where is the phone booth?", asked he to the security guard. "I think there should be one right next to Nexus building. Just go left", replied the guard in perfect English. Murphy was definitely trying to set him up here. He would show Murphy who the smarter one of the two was. There would be no indecision. Took two steps did he to the left and then run to the right. He he!!! He would only allow Murphy a teasing sniff of victory before he outwitted him.
There was a reason Murphy had a law named after him. He could not so easily be outwitted. Our hero would have to return to the phone booth right beneath his house, where the Q#%$#$ generator was trying busy trying to prove that he had the noisiest growl of them all.
Apparently, choice was something he was not going to have in plenty today. Valiantly he stepped into "ThePhoneBooth". 00-93-555-55215544. The number would remain engrained in his mind for a long time. No more hassles here.
Hmmmph!!! Was it worth it??? Would a voice somewhere in the distant corner of the world be nearly as sweet as the extreme his imagination would let him percieve?? And to what end?? What fruitful gain could there possibly be from this "conversation"... the little which he could hear, that was not drowned in the monotonous noise of the generator.
"Hey U", said a voice on the other end of the phone. There are few... very few instances in life where one gets to find out that even Imagination had its limits. The voice on the other end. Memories of the days hardships vanished in an instant. He could not have prayed and gotten anything more beautiful.
All of the best things in life are worth fighting for. Only a few of them, would you look back and say. "Hmmmmm.... I wonder if I did enuf to deserve this reward". This could easily top that list. The story has perhaps only begun.
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