My Dad DOESNT understand vacations!!!!

"Here I am,
This is me,
There's nowhere else on earth i did rather be.."

Incase you are all thinking that, yet again I have been hit in the head repeatedly, with an unassorted collection of Bryan Adams CD's, for stocking away a lot more than what one might call a fair share of free-coffee, well, you are partially right... I have been filling up my stomach, and now, even certain areas of the liver and pancreas as a NON- VIOLENT mark of protest against the so called "Limited Stock of Free Soft Drinks" (We the protesters even have our very own community now)... But that was about a week ago... This week... I am at home, happily hoggin away at tons and tons of free scrumptious food.

P.S. : If you guessed that I am a mallu from the repeated use of the word Free... No prizes bro... We are a universally stingy brethren. Oh!!! And if you guessed that this blog is going to be about home and all the characters present there, give yourself three brownie points. Collect twenty and you could just win a date. I am not appending 'with me' to that sentence, coz it could and probably would scare off a lot (all two of them) of the readers.

So here it is... A small glimpse into this little abode i call as 'Veedu'

Character Sketch One: Bajh
Real Name: Babu Mathews Profession: Fathering and Fatherism's
Head of the house. Idealist, perfectionist, charming, hard working, perserverant, dynamism and intelligence is a short list of genes that were not passed down from his genes set to me. The list while lengthy enough I should warn you is by no means complete. He has just come down from Bahrain for vacation and as expected is already busy shaping up the place. While, to the naked eye the room might be spic and span, his eyes well... they could pick up a dust particle from a mile. Of the one month that he is here, he gets to gyaan (pass down his knowledge) me only fer one week... Lucky me... 22 years and you did think all the gyaan-ing has been done. Not quite is what i wud say.
We do spend our bits of time together... You kno manly types... The father son thing... For example, yesterday, we had a father son outing, which, brings me to


Character Sketch Two: Bavish
Real Name: Revon Mathews Profession: Being a sibling of variant . type cast-Very sweet to Very . very very very dangerous
Unless you guys/gals suffer frm very very (plz add 3 more very's) short term memory loss, you will remember about the father-son periodic manly outing that i mentioned some time bk... Well, these outings in the context of Home Ministry are classified as Errands... Like, yesterday, when we both drove all the way to the city to get Lakhme 651. Now, all the while during this manly outing, i could wonder only one thing.... 651??? As in, 3 digit number??? Are there like a 1000 varieties of colours girls use to impress guys??? I took a hand count then...13... thats all i cud name... I took a quick survey... the list was topped at 18 by a nearby cousin... dats it... dats all v males can do...??? 18... so y pay that extra hundred for something that, hard as we may try, cant physically distinguish??
Oh and here's what tops it... Ven i finally got to the lipstick, the shopkeeper told me, that it was a colorless variety... Hmmm... 1000 different varities of colorless lipstick??? Just when we thought, women couldnt get any more complicated.

Character Sketch Three: Hamish
Real Name: Elizabeth Mathews Profession:House wife part timing as mum
Now, mum here, well, more than anything else, she is known for Arachnophobia (fear of spiders)... How am i so well acquainted with that term?? Well, you wouldnt forget it either, if you witnessed mums sense ofsenseless reflex to these creatures... For one, I am sure dad wouldnt forget todays experience, when we went out for a drive to one of the busiest cities of Kerala (Ernakulam). Quite drive. Dad took over the wheels after a while, while I moved towards my second favorite activity - sleeping. Screeeeecccch!!!
Now, at first, I was not sure whether what transpired in the next few minutes was a dream or a bad dream*. I watched as my mum continued in probably a near successful attempt at bursting her lungs, while at the same time, jumping up and down, in only what i can guess was a random experiment to measure the spring constant of the seat.
*(It sure din seem real)

In the following scene, I gaze in horror as mum pops open the door at a traffic signal and tries in vain to beat atleast Michael Johnson's record of 100m in 10.12 seconds. I had barely recovered from this, when I see my dad being pulled out of the car by the traffic policeman for "attempting to harm a lady". I would just have gone back to sleep then if another cop didnt continue banging on my window. I noticed a spider on the roof, and, luckily enuf( being more than familiar with this kind of fiasco) guess wat had transpired in the last couple of minutes. I explained the same to the cop, while dad, trying to hide a cocktail of emotions, gently nodded along. It took a further 10 minutes to locate mum. But I am guessing that, it is short duration compared to the period of time DAD's gonna remember this incident.

Well, those are the characters that live closest to me at home. I would love to detail about the characters (i.e., three families of cousins which live next to me - each one with their unique trademarks- and each equally, if not more interesting) but, There are miles to go before I sleep and not to mention a DAD to coax b4 I sleep. I am not sure whether this mite b the best of incidents for him so far. I am sure he's got lot more interesting tales. Let me c, if i can get him to elicit a few more ;).