Soapless in Virajpet

Prequel:
Venue: (Long empty road joining office and home)
Charachters: Rohit(me me me me me) and Arjun.
Me: "Dont know what it is man? I feel like totally bottled up. Constrained. Just feel like I want to explode"
Arjun: "You need to go have some sex man"
Me:Hmmmm... Y not?
About half of a fraction of a milli second later, my brain comes up with a list of Top 30 Reasons as to "Y not". This was followed, by a train of hilarious laughter (like the ones you see in a sit-com). I guess this was a sign that maybe i should think of something more feasible. That's how we came up with the plan of trekking up and down a 23 km track, on this steep mountainous terrain which had forests swarmed with leaches and a slippery track this time of the year. Yup, this sounded much easier.

So there it was. Friday night. 6 monkeys and 6 back packs, filled with all the neccessary material (glucose, biscuits, loads of salt (u kno... a quick drink for the leeches), bread and jam)... As you can see, we had immense confidence in our exemplary cooking skills... Yup, we knew as much about cooking as Maneka Gandhi about the new suspension mechanism in CBZ extreme.
At 10:15 pm, we boarded our buses and had a jolly good sleep till about 4:30 next morning. Not many of you may know this, but sleeping is one of my finer talents. I mean, do you really want to challenge a guy who has(literally) slept through an earthquake, a hoax bomb call in a bus and has even slept standing 8 hrs in the general compartment of a train (during Sabarimala season). Y not just challenge ....

Once our feet were planted firmly on the ground, we(read as me) looked around in search for good omens. Hmmmm!!! Three gorgeous girls looking in my direction. This could only mean one thing. I looked into the background for signs of a UFO or invading aliens. Hmmm... surprising... no aliens. A strong sense of reality and a slightly(read as majorly) weakened sense of optimism in these departments quickly led me to realise that they were searching for the bus conductor to ask for directions. So much for good omens.
Step 2. Search for a lodge. Not the easiest of tasks. Apparently most of Karnataka had heard of our trip plans and had flooded the lodges to get a glimpse of RGC ( You wud definitely have read the 'All Hail Vasco D' Gama' and 'Spirit of Valentine' fiascos... As you can imagine... A must meet person)
Step 3. 5 lodges and loads of cribbing later, we finally come across a patient lodger ready to accomodate us ( read as irate man in torn lungi, mouthing obscenities at dis group who 'Dared disturb his slumber' (apparenly a big fan of Indian National Anthem as well (makes no sense i kno)). He lead us to a couple of rooms, with bathrooms that hadn been washed since World War II. Further analysis, led us to easily conclude that these rooms would in large probability have been used for Genetic experiments on a large variety of insects.As you mite have guessed, it didnt take long for the group to come to a consensus that, the premises be vacated immediately.

A light breakfast and a tea later, we set off (by the 8 : 15 bus) to Kakkabe. (The omens were not exactly in a very encouragin mood today and like you would probably have guessed, the bus did break down). The rest of the group, (as if by synchronized reflex reaction) took to their feet and dumped their bags on me. "Rohit, we will just be back. Look after all the bags". Hmmm.... difficult to believe that this was not a preconceived strategy. With nothing much to do, i started care-freely observing the passengers. It didnt take a 189.3 IQ to guess that most of the passengers were Mallu's. These were the ones standing around the burst tire, and, however improbable it may seem, had a different opinion on what should be the next step in fixing the tire.

Finally, at about 9:30, we begin the trek from Kakkabe. Twenty minutes was all it took to conclude that half this gang was not trekking material. Pit stops were as frequent as Salman Khan's flop movies. I have to say that the people in this area were very friendly. Most of them were only to happy to give us a drink of cold water or pose for a couple of photographs (we intended on saving our water fer the un-inhabited part of the trek). After what seemed like hours up a steep slope, we stopped to catch our breath. Excuses such as "Hmmm... I think we should wait here and enjoy the scenery around for a while" were met with immediate consensus from the rest of the group.

I would have to be lying to say that what we saw around us was anything short of breath taking. The view was awesome. Especially once we had crossed the final points of human civilization. The very sight around was more driving than all the glucose we had packed up for the trek. Even after around some 6 km of trekking we could barely see the peak of the mountain covered in mists. Probably the first really interesting zone was a forest cover. We clicked a few snaps only to discover that we had some uninvited guests in our photos. Two leeches on Devassy's hand and one on his leg. Luckily we were prepared for this (ya... v read a couple of blogs b4 coming here). We poured some salt water on his feet and hands. The leeches almost immediately jumped off. These creatures were as creepy as they were beautiful and added an element of adventure to the trip.

In an attempt to not get too adventurous and being the students of science that we are, decieded to carry on a little experiment. We poured a little salt water on all our legs b4 walking into this forest. We then picked up a leech or two and put it on our legs. Presto.... What once stuck like magnets, could now just not cling on to our feet. The mighty army was indominable. We gallantly marched thru the forest(a sense of accomplishment in our hearts) - Yes yes... u guessed it rite... v r software engineers... and this is abt as much adventure as we get... :)

Once thru the first of the forests we realized that we hadn even completed half our trip. The way ahead was only getting steeper and the destination was nowhere in sight. We paced up ( last bus frm here is supposed to be @ 7:30 pm, and it was already 11:15). Our second(read as two millionth) pit stop was a huge boulder en route. A few blogs we had read b4 embarking on this epic mission, had revealed to us that a small five minute diversion would lead us to a small stream frm where we could fill in some water. There was however 'the catch'. Getting to this source of water, would mean, crossing yetAnotherForestStrip, only marshier, and, with leeches at every other step... ya... i kno.. like some of the rides at WonderLa... (only these rides dont suck blood).

Mayb it was the pumped up adrenalin... (or someone had added drugs to our glucose powder), but, all of us just had to go in and get the water... no one wanted to stay back... (The above sentence is purely fictional and has only been added with the incentive to impress some dumb (preferrably neccessarily good looking) gals...)

Ten minutes later we were on our way again... There was a peak visible every 5 minutes, and, just when we made it to one, we realized that this wasnt anywhere near the final destination and that we still had a long way to go. However, our group was not one to be easily discouraged. (yup... another one of those impress sentences)... We made our minds that we would do this or die (read as lie to everyone that we had indeed climbed to the top). 30 minutes after the boulder, we were still panting and the top was nowhere in sight. If we thought that we had seen the last of the forests (which we indeed had), we were mistaken... Voila... Right in front... Forest number 3... I am not a man of biology, but, with every passing forest, we realized that the percentage/density of blood sucking creatures(no I m not talkin abt ur manager) was only increasing. To top things, ample-sunlight(as we wud shortly realize) was not one of the positive features of this forest.

20 minutes later, we could finally catch a glimpse of the peak. This is it folks. We mite have been exhausted (after 11 km of upward ascen), but, we were pumped.. The energy seemed to build in us, as if out of now where. We paced ourselves up and started competing with nearby snails (they were drugged... they must have been... how else could you explain the ease with which they were winning this race??)

Ahh the top... Wat a beautiful sight... Bare chested(yup... we realized that it is humanly possible to profusely-sweat at a height of 5850ft), we dropped ourselves to the floor. (Not b4 i and Binesh -being the first of our group to make it to the top- took out a Banyan and made flags there).... A small sacrifice to commemorate our valiant* efforts.

At this point, the children is us, (awakened after a really long slumber) started running amock... There was no mummy around to say, "Hey, dont stand at the edge of that cliff"... "One more step and you will plummet to ur deaths"..."U eat that vendakya curry, or, I m going to tell your daddy about it"...So... we did wat comes naturally to us (or to any retarted common senseless creation of GOD)... Play "Who can stand closer to the edge"... A number of photos were taken in (seemingly) death defying positions (only to realise later that the mist was gonna be a big spoil sport wrt how these photos wud turn out). Two hours (and two battery dead cameras later) we began the final descent.

Crossing forests had now become cliche, thanks to Annapurna Salt (official sponsor of the Procrastinator)... The descent was much faster than the ascent... There was only one prayer on the tip of our lips, and, as if the big man was just waiting for us to ask, he showered his blessings upon us... Ah the sweet rain... What more could one possibly ask for?? I guess it goes without telling that the majority of the group didn bother opening their umbrellas... It was awesome... The thirst and the dryness simultaneoulsy quenched... For some, it was more than yetAnotherRainfall... It was the first time their clothes had seen water in a very long time (washing machine on fritz + 6 lazy miserly bachelors = not surprising at all is it??)

It was sheer magic... If we thought that view going upward was heavenly, we were mistaken... The rains had transformed the entire land... A step closer to heaven it felt... If you have a chance, you definitely dont want to miss out on this trek folks.. :)

By 6:30 p.m., we reached the starting point of the trek (23 kms in 8 hrs... Could some one check if that is a new world record.... *ahem*.... you dont have to laugh that loudly... i get it)... Neway... as luck wud have it, we missed the last bus back to Virajpet... Luckily, a group of really friendly men offered to take us to town (24 km away) for as little as 550 Rs... I started looking around for the luxury-buisness class-private jet they would be taking us in?? Hmmmm... strange... no landing strip in sight... only one broken down little jeep... I must have heard him wrong... I cleared my ears and said.... "Five Rs fifty paise... for that jeep..... k... sounds reasonable"... I could be wrong, but, the profanities that followed, led me to believe that he didn share my sense of humor....Its a good thing that i din follow Kannada slangs.

We, being the gentlemen we are, politely* refused.
*This part of the blog has been slightly modified in order to cater to the family audience.

Seconds later, (yup... the big man was indeed very happy with something i had done on the top), a young lady stopped her Bolero in front of us and asked whether we did be needing a lift to the city...?? Now, we may not be the brightest men in all the land, but, stuff like this, (esp free stuff)... we dont let them go by that easy.

(K... so maybe the lady was not so young... and maybe the lady was a huge fat man with a burly moustache driving yetAnotherBrokenDownJeep, but,... I think i would prefer to remember this day otherwise... ;)


Not so cute when they are sucking on your hand

View from the top

Beautiful isnt it

Bring out the glucose

Paddy field en route... Told you it was awesome