Presenting to you...

So I walked in today morning expecting nothing out of the ordinary. I have lost count on the number of times fate has cheated me on this. Guess today was to be no exception.

As part of the daily routine, i walk around the corner of the building. I do this to skip the lift and move to the staircases. If you dont know me and I have successfully managed to convince you that I am health freak with 32 inch biceps, please stop reading here and send in your email id and phone number to rohitgm_007@yahoo.co.in (only gals and successful directors)... The rest of you, well, ya... you guessed it rite... the stair case directly opens up to the portion of the office between the HR section and Tech Support section... A place i like to call

Shangri-La is a fictional place described in the 1933 novel Lost Horizon by British author James Hilton. In the book, "Shangri-La" is a mystical, harmonious valley, gently guided from a lamasery, enclosed in the western end of the Kunlun Mountains. Shangri-La has become synonymous with any earthly paradise but particularly a mythical Himalayan utopia—a permanently happy land, isolated from the outside world. The word also evokes the imagery of exoticism of the Orient. The story of Shangri-La is based on the concept of Shambhala, a mystical city in Tibetan Buddhist tradition.

Shangrila-a la-McAfee ... for obvious reasons

I seem to have a new found respect for McAfee's hiring policy now. I have to meet the head of the Tech Support incharge... Apparently his and my tastes match a lot.

Coming back to our story... after this daily ritual i move on to my desk... I see many familiar faces around... Not the prettiest I might add... There is something about coding that brings out in one the worst contortions of the human face...(Yup... I am talkin about the look on ur face about 49.3 microseconds b4 u punch the keyboard, screaming obscenities at his presumed ancestors...)

As I sit at my desk, reading (read as pretending to read) the documentation that I have been handed about 3 months ago, oblivious to the inevitable at hand, I feel a hand on my back... I knew this clasp all too well... The first of which (3 months ago) were followed by the words, "Checking your email eh!!! Good good... Just wanted to remind you about the deadline this weekend... If you dont finish it, well, there could be problems"... I liked this guy... How he managed to keep a straight face thru that without the slightest modulation in tone, I dont know? Guess that is what it takes to become a manager... I looked for a hint of a smile at the furthest corner of his lips... Time and experience had taught me that this was futile... So I went ahead with the obligatory... "Yes Sir... ok sir... almost ready sir..."

Flashback over***
I turn around to see him smiling... That couldnt be good... I was familiar with the smile as well... It was the cover up for impending disaster... Like "Rohit, there is a huge-mega important project headed your way" (read as ... the management has chosen you to be the next guinea pig for our random experiments)

Manager:" A few software consultants are coming from Aztec Soft today. I want you to help me interview them"
Me:jaw drops to the ground... cleans ear... pinches himself to get himself bk to reality... then says... "Pardon me sir"
Manager:"Well... nothing to worry about... You are an expert in JSP and Spring Framework now.. Just tell them about how we use JBuilder as well"
Me:"who ... what ... who... Jay Bildu??... uh!!! Sir... kya bolti tu??"
Manager:gets the point (smart man)... "Hmmm... k... you come anyway... You dont have to say anything during the meeting... I will get Muthu as well (my mentor)"
Me:"Wow... that sounds gr8"

Now ordinarily I love interviewing people... but, tis never been for their technical skills... I knew as much about technicality as Yahoo mail about avoiding spam.... (read in layman terms as ... oh man!!! u suck)... granted i had joined one of the top 10 Engineerin institutes in india on merit... but people shud (esp since the success of 5 point someone) shud hav guessed by now how much of a fluke it was

Manager:"Oh yeah!!! And Rohit... please sit at your desk for sometime today... I will need you soon"

Lets jus say that I had been absconding a lot frm my seat fer the last week... Reading loads of documentation, as you would have noted... not in the top of my hobby list

An hour later... Manager calls me into room packed with two baldies and 3 professional looking chums... The central baldi introes himself... "Hi... bla bla bla... I am 10 years experienced" (gulp) "...bla bla bla... He is 8 years bla bla bla... This is juniormost fellow... only 4.5 years experience... bla bla bla"

Intro ends...

Manager:"Rohit... These chaps will be helping with the integration of 6.0 version of the product. Rohit here has almost completed work on 7.0 (yup... the miracle of Ctrl C,Ctrl V)... so... guide them with the same"

Manager:"Muthu give them a brief intro of the architecture of the system"
Phew!!!! Lucky escape...

Manager and 10 yr baldie go to next room... Muthu speaks about old version of product...

Muthu:"Rohit... will now give an overview of the architecture of the new version and y we have chosen the underlying technologies to implement the same"

Alarm bells ring... church bells sound... sounds of firing in Karachi... phatta phatta phatta phat... Where was a major earthquake when you needed one

Me:"Ya... sure"

Me:" Ahem Ahem... throat not very well today... so ... i will make this short... cough cough..."

Me:"As Muthu has already told you... bla bla bla... and he also told you bla bla bla... and i definitely u wud remember him tellin u bla bla bla... Its all true... Wat he said at first.. true..."

10 very very very very long minutes of twistin and turning and churnin out complex words (of English dictionary) and confusing everyone in the room later...

Me:"I can imagine that I have confused you a lot... (he he)... I really want to give you an indepth view of the architecture(ya rite... as much as i wanted flea infested warts all over my body), but, I dont want to confuse and scare you all on the first day itself... So.. anytime u are free.. come down to my...errr...ahem... Muthu's desk..."

"... Any doubts??"

Junior-most:"You mentioned about Spring framework... any reason u are preffering that over Struts...???"

Me:"ya... they look prettier and sound better"

room laughs... manager comes in... "trust you hav had a good session..."

Nick of time.. I luv u ... i luv u.. i luv u...
Me:"Sir... frnds are waitin outside for lunch"
Manager:"Sure... go ahead... bye and thanx"

I had learnt something very important on this day folkz...

[b]When in doubt, act dumb... When ignorant... BULLSHIT[/b]... gnite u all