The word you are looking for is shocking, confounding, stupefying, astonishing or even eye-popping... "Two posts in the same month... On the Procrastinator's site... Ya... somebody must have hacked his ID... Or lets hope so.. The hacker must definitely be smarter, cuter and have a better sense of blogging than the previous author, who has by now won unanimity amongst fellow bretheren bloggers, in being accepted as bench mark for ground zero skill level in all of the 3 above"
Sorry to dissapoint you folks... Looks like yours truly might be torturing you for a bit while longer... Atleast as long as the world continues spinning or till such day that the Indian football team qualifies for the World Cup. I am sure by now, many people have rushed to the core of the Earth to see what they can do to save fellow Earthlings. See folks... not that bad... atleast we agree on which of the above two is more feasible.
The immediate question pondering the mind of 'HE/She who must be being tortured right now' is what brings our hero back to the blogging arena or even better, what pre-posessed demon driven soul inspired this chap into the blogging arena. Bhetto bhetto(sit down folks)... today i will tell you the tale of a kingdom not far far away... For the sake of female readers (yes there is a prince with a face his mother could love)... For the male readers... "Brothers, i dont know u but, if u send this link to 10 friends, i promise, out of every ten phone numbers that i get, i will donate one to the nearest boys hostel. If u have heart plz fwd this, dont neglect. its true. god bless u forever."
Long long ago, when Abhishek Bachan was still a virgin and Matthew Hayden never used to wet his pants screaming "Sreesanth, Sreesanth" at night, our hero was still wondering, " Saale, ye bande blogs kyun post karte rehte hain (y are this nuts bent upon describing their daily naughty naughty habits on the internet)" while happily coding away on his PC* (translated as scrapping away on orkut - to anyone who is not my manager/team-lead/mentor/serious fellow team mate desperately looking for promotion), a fellow classmate pinged him... The conversation went something like this:
Anphy:"Hey, Ro... What you upto?"
Procrastinator:"Nothing much. Truly bored. What you upto?"
Anphy:"Kuch nahin. My favorite blogger has not posted for a while, so, life's dull"
Procrastinator ponders upon this thought, "favourite" and "blogger" in the same sentence... Isnt it scientifically established that it is statistically less probable than "President bush" and "intelligent conversation" coming in the same sentence.
Anphy:"Which blogs do you read?"
Procrastinator:"Read-a??? blogs-a?? (in that typical mallu accent).. What are you saying? I am doing much more interesting stuff like counting the number of yellow dots when I close my eyes"
Anphy:"hmmm..O ye of little faith..read this.. 'http://someLinkHere.com'"
Our procrastinator(brave as he is known to little to be), still pumped up after watching Troy, deciedes to charter into un-explored territories.
Half hour later
Procrastinator:"Wow... twenty marriage proposals as the comments of one post... wow... I have read that girls are nuts... but this nutty... seriously?"
Anphy:"You men... you will never understand women... their intricacies, their subtle complexities.. Its beyond you"
Procrastinator, ponders, "women?? intricacies...?? Isnt that what we spent a whole one hour, last nite on FTV pondering??? Neways... plan acha hain..." (brilliant idea is about to be shaped into reality). Armed with his weapons of mass destruction - paper, pencil, ruler and *ahem* - not that you idiot, this blog is PG 13 (suitable for all audiences)- i meant eraser, he chalks out the most devislishly brilliant idea. Plan ->Che din - ladki in (Project CDLI)<-
Step 1: Think of crap
Step 2: Write first iteration of crap
Step 3: Use thesaurus on every 'WOC - word of crap' in first iteration
Step 4: Add moral of the story - preferrably copied from google.com, copy paste "poem/romantic quote" from any site.
Step 5: Add pictures of N95, Ford Fiesta, Yamaha - R6 and label them "My new Mobile", "My Car" and "My bike" respectively.
Step 6: Click "Save Now"... wait for effects.
6 months later
Anphy: "Hey, hows your CDLI working out?"
Procrastinator: "No good... after two hours intense chatting yesterday, forwarded blog link to gal, to get her to smile"
pause
Anphy: "and... "
Procrastinator: "not the effect percieved... it was supposed to have her rolling on the ground laughing... desgined as comedy you know"
Anphy: "and... whats the worst that could happen"
Procrastinator: " uhmmm... 10 minutes into the blog, she ended up crying, said she wanted to get back with her 'Ex' and that she was ready to forgive him?... Havent heard from her since"
10 minutes of laughter and sounds of things falling on the ground later...
Anphy: "Ha ha... do you have the link?"
Procrastinator: "http://yetanotherachievement.blogspot.com/2007/05/love-and-nothing-like-it.html"
Go figure...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Meow Meow...
Thats what I had decieded I would name this post. Mind numbing is not what would aptly describe as the rationale behind it. There comes a time in everyone's life where he would willingly throw of his thinking cap. For the author of this post, it comes at a time that he did be easily willing to shell out of couple of 100 bucks for any mode/form of engagement whose simplicity in nature and subtle yet profound levels of deception would help him in his guile(and arguably - not vile intent).
80% of Bangalore's population would have guessed by now that I am sitting in a training room, with limited Internet access trying hard to hold my head up - yet sporting a convincing enough look to both my manager (sitting a couple of seats away from me) and the resident tutor that I am indeed doing justice to the lakhs of rupees the company is throwing away to "train" us. 70% of this 80% would also have guessed by now that I am using "unfair" means to prevent these tormentors from refraining me from my birth right -
GMail, orkut and blogger.
Its been 5 minutes since I typed my last line and that can be attributed to Mr. Trainer here, walking up and down, and stopping for what one might say is easily a disturbingly long period of time at my desk more often than one would comfortably
categorize as "occassional". I might add that this does really not come as surprising given that I am unable to wipe of my face a smile, coming from the combined effect of reading my friends blog and the sounds of "click-click-clicks" and "shit-s@#$%-s@#$-f!@#-arghhhh"'s coming from the neighbouring computers. Poor chaps... Apparently Minsweeper is the only form of revolt they could resort to.
As I continue to browse across various websites I come across, IBN-LIVE.com (Supposedly, India's highest rated online news channel). Today's headlines read: "Pack of laughing hyenas commit suicide after succumbing to depression: World wide campaign to study causes for mass suicide attempts from sections of both human as well as animal society. Eye-witness report: Many of these unfortunate souls who
have either gone into depression or have attempted suicide were last seen browsing the following site: http://yetanotherachievement.blogspot.com
My heart felt condolonces for all to the families of all this unfortunate group who apparently braved to venture through more than two paragraphs on the above link. The United Nations has declared this as the biggest emergency to hit the World since the retirement of bombshell actress Carmen Electra. President Musharraf and his sincere followers were so grieved by the incident that they decieded to declare a year long 'Period of Emergency' in the country. It is yet to be determined which of the two incidents grieved them more, but as a matter of certainity they have succumbed to the combined pressure of the two incidents. Let us observe a two minute silence for these poor crushed souls.
Ting ting ting ting.. the bell rings... I see less than 5 minutes for the end of today's class and am hence decieding to wrap this up.. Show over folks... Take care... Oh and yeah!!! If anyone hasnt guessed why this post has been titled "Meow meow", its for the simple reason that I am still recovering from the horror that last weeks CAT(Common Admission Test) was.. I would love to tell you more about it, but, then that would require a whole new post ... Wouldnt it Miss. Shaila Srivasthava?? ;)
80% of Bangalore's population would have guessed by now that I am sitting in a training room, with limited Internet access trying hard to hold my head up - yet sporting a convincing enough look to both my manager (sitting a couple of seats away from me) and the resident tutor that I am indeed doing justice to the lakhs of rupees the company is throwing away to "train" us. 70% of this 80% would also have guessed by now that I am using "unfair" means to prevent these tormentors from refraining me from my birth right -
GMail, orkut and blogger.
Its been 5 minutes since I typed my last line and that can be attributed to Mr. Trainer here, walking up and down, and stopping for what one might say is easily a disturbingly long period of time at my desk more often than one would comfortably
categorize as "occassional". I might add that this does really not come as surprising given that I am unable to wipe of my face a smile, coming from the combined effect of reading my friends blog and the sounds of "click-click-clicks" and "shit-s@#$%-s@#$-f!@#-arghhhh"'s coming from the neighbouring computers. Poor chaps... Apparently Minsweeper is the only form of revolt they could resort to.
As I continue to browse across various websites I come across, IBN-LIVE.com (Supposedly, India's highest rated online news channel). Today's headlines read: "Pack of laughing hyenas commit suicide after succumbing to depression: World wide campaign to study causes for mass suicide attempts from sections of both human as well as animal society. Eye-witness report: Many of these unfortunate souls who
have either gone into depression or have attempted suicide were last seen browsing the following site: http://yetanotherachievement.blogspot.com
My heart felt condolonces for all to the families of all this unfortunate group who apparently braved to venture through more than two paragraphs on the above link. The United Nations has declared this as the biggest emergency to hit the World since the retirement of bombshell actress Carmen Electra. President Musharraf and his sincere followers were so grieved by the incident that they decieded to declare a year long 'Period of Emergency' in the country. It is yet to be determined which of the two incidents grieved them more, but as a matter of certainity they have succumbed to the combined pressure of the two incidents. Let us observe a two minute silence for these poor crushed souls.
Ting ting ting ting.. the bell rings... I see less than 5 minutes for the end of today's class and am hence decieding to wrap this up.. Show over folks... Take care... Oh and yeah!!! If anyone hasnt guessed why this post has been titled "Meow meow", its for the simple reason that I am still recovering from the horror that last weeks CAT(Common Admission Test) was.. I would love to tell you more about it, but, then that would require a whole new post ... Wouldnt it Miss. Shaila Srivasthava?? ;)
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